Insane by association

The computer is a wonderful thing. It creates a huge cut in time and space. It can make communication very quick and very easy. Email now does what snail mail used to do. Entire businesses are run on the computer. People also run their social lives as well on computer too. The computer is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I have experienced both sides of this techno-coin. The good the bad and the truly ugly.

I enjoy doing research on the computer and learning about topics of interest and I have met probably one good friend by having a computer. But it is amazing the kinds of folks you 'meet' on the computer. But life has a way of educating us mortals in very strange ways. About 10 years ago I discovered the computer and the magical qualities of 'meeting' people on line. The people you meet on line live ordinary lives with every day experiences and joys and issues. But when some people get on their computers, we witness a transformation or a piece of their life that is totally isolated from their every day lives. It is like walking into a surreal world where everyone is transformed into something else. What is even more scarier is that it begins to happen to YOU!

Years ago, I discovered the unbelievable world of e-groups. E-groups is like falling down a very twisted rabbit hole, where you 'meet' everyone from the Queen of Hearts to the door mouse. I fell down the dark hole and before I knew it, I was lost! Lost in a world where people's identity are as amoebic and changeable as ingredients in a high school lab's test tube. What is scary is I began to lose my own sense of healthy self to fit in and became like the rest of the members of the e-tea party.

The e-tea party consisted of some pretty interesting guests. One guest was a self proposed expert on her subject. There were very few back in those years who would contest or challenge her. She wielded her power with a strong severe arm. On the surface she appeared very knowledgeable on her subject and very articulate when other guests at the tea party would inquire for inside information about her subject. Inwardly she appeared to be seeking self worth through her 'role' as the font of information. How we all held her in esteem for her knowledge and articulation. Seated not far form this guest was a another articulate soul who had a zest for emoting and expressing herself. She was wonderfully dramatic with her self expression. Another one was an older guest, who, one would think, would be a character of wisdom and grace. Sadly, she was a soul filled with fear and bitterness in her written words. Still another guest professed to be close to the queen of hearts when the queen of hearts was fully intent to make sure this guest's head was cut off. This guest still lives with the fantasy that she is beloved by the queen of hearts. But alas the queen and her henchmen are very aware of this guest and is on the watch of her. The queen keeps watch on all her guests. There are other numerous guests who posed to be the house keeper of the queen of hearts, while others hid in other identities. What is so amazing is how these guests would go about ready to act in the queen's behalf to cut off other guests heads when the queen herself couldn't be any more less concerned with who's heads were cut off and whose weren't. Make no mistake though, the queen had her own list of heads she wanted removed! The funny thing is, MOST of the guests I have 'encountered' at the e-tea party are on the queen's list! Oy Vey, and to think, I stayed wayyyyy tooo long at this affair. God help me! He surely has!

As time when on I found that these tea party guests were on several of the e-groups of which I was a member. I experienced more and more strange behavior as time went by. After a while I began to observe behavior that was acted out in fear and jealousies to the hurt and detriment of others. Red Flags went up in my mind's eye but being lost down this e rabbit hole, I chose to ignore them. What is scary most of all was that I had become a 'guest' I didn't like! The tea party of the e-groups became more and more infectious and one who remains at the table of these groups becomes more and more intoxicated to the point there is a loss of conscious health. I too became lost in the fear, jealousies and then no healthier than the rest of the guests.

Like the wale throwing up Jonah onto dry land, I was thrown up out of the dark belly of e-groups. I am glad to be on healthy dry land again.
I now stand with health and make some observations. First to say, that the e-group tea party guests might be totally different than the characters they portray in cyberspace, but who knows for sure. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But with in the surreal world of the Internet, people become crazy! My self included. I did not like the person I had become down that dark, dank rabbit hole. But when one is down there in the darkness, one begins to fail to see what is sanity and what is not.

It is easy to be something your are not in cyberspace. It can appear safe to hide behind a persona out of fear or for what ever reasons. I learned that for some people who haven't found self value it is easier for them to live in world of their own invention. I think while the computer is a great place for research and learning it makes one hell of a bad place to socialize. I learned a great lesson, the computer is NOT a place to 'meet' people for any significant deep friendships. There is an old expression that goes "A place for everything and everything in it's place." It is very applicable here. True close friends are found in real life, not in cyberspace. I doubt I will be swallowed up by an E-Whale or venture down a cyberspace rabbit hole in the near or distant future.